Red States & Blue States vs. The United States

All states are diverse in political persuasion, at least to some degree. However, because of our winner-take-all electoral system, pundits like to talk about states being either red or blue.

With the election less than two weeks away now and the polls all indicating that many of the states that went for Bush over Kerry in 2004 are likely to go for Obama over McCain this time around, I think it’s well worth keeping in-mind that the populations of all states are diverse in political persuasion, at least to some degree. However, because of our winner-take-all electoral system, pundits like to talk about states being either red or blue. The truth, however, is that all states turn various shades of purple when one squints a little bit and looks at voting by district.


It is my most sincere hope that, when this election is over and the GOP, a consortium of right-wing, angry fringe groups, is left in shambles having to redefine itself before the next election, the politics of division will be set aside in favor of national unity born out of reason, common goals, and diplomacy. Now, I don’t know who originally authored the following — somebody from California no doubt. I hope whoever it is won’t mind that I have included it in this posting. It came to me by e-mail from a dear friend who leans in the same directions I do, politically, morally and spiritually. So, whether it serves to justify your beliefs or challenge them, what follows will hopefully make you laugh — per chance to think as well.

Dear Red States:
If you manage to steal this election too we’ve decided we’re leaving.  We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss. We get 85% of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’re going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they’re apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their children’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up some day, but we’re not willing to spend more of our resources in Bush’s Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95% of America’s quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.  We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% believe they are people with higher morals than we lefties.
Peace out,
–Blue States

I invite your comments, whether pro or con

PS ~ If things turn-out as current polling suggests, we’ll not only have the best surfing, but most of the good skiing too!

Published in: on October 25, 2008 at 10:29 am  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. I’m just now finding this – but WOW, I LOVE what you had to say – my sentiments too!

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