Economic Jokes

Heard a good one lately? If so, share it with us.

Q & A Jokes

Q: How come we give our two cents worth when expressing our opinion, but others only offer a penny for our thoughts?
A: We value our opinions more than others do.

Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?
A: Can’t say; it’s too early to say.

Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea ?
A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.

Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck?
A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool.

Q: Why did the market economist cross the road?
A: To reach the consensus forecast.

Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.
A2: Two. One to assume the existence of latter and one to change the bulb.

Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on the wage rate.

Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
A2: None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen.
A3: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
A4. None. “There is no need to change the light bulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place.
A5. None, because, look! It’s getting brighter! It’s definitely getting brighter !!!
A6. None; they’re all waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium.

Q: How many Wharton MBAs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, if you hire me. I can actually change the light bulb by myself. As you can see from my resume, I’ve had extensive experience changing light bulbs in my previous positions. I’ve also been named to the Wharton Light Bulb list, and am presently a teaching assistant for Light Bulb Management 666. My only weakness is that I’m compulsive about changing light bulbs in my spare time.

Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I’m writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about 5 years.

Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None – the market has already discounted the change.

 

Short Story Jokes

Three Texas economists are on a deer hunting trip. They spot a deer about 300 meters away. The first economist shoots but misses about five meters to the left. The second economist shoots and misses about five meters to the right. The third economist starts jumping up and down saying, “We got ‘im… we got ‘im!”

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.

Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. Bentley’s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!

Berta’s Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. “The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist.”

An economic forecaster was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the door frame of his office. Asked what it was for, he replied that it was a good luck charm that helped his forecasts. But do you believe in that superstition? he was asked, and he said, “Of course not!” But then why do you keep it? “Well,” he said, “it works whether you believe in it or not.”

A mathematical economist came sailing by on an ice boat, and pulled to the shore beside the surf-fishing economist to scoff. “You’ll never catch any fish that way,” said the mathematical economist. “Jump on my ice-boat and we’ll go trawling.”

Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it!”

A civil engineer, a chemist and an economist are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. “I only have two rooms, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn,” the innkeeper says. The civil engineer volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others go to bed. In a short time they’re awakened by a knock. It’s the engineer, who says, “There’s a cow in that barn. I’m a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred animal.” The chemist says that, OK, he’ll sleep in the barn. The others go back to bed, but soon are awakened by another knock. It’s the chemist who says, “There’s a pig in that barn. I’m Jewish, and cannot sleep next to an unclean animal.” So the economist is sent to the barn. It’s getting late, the others are very tired and soon fall asleep. But they’re awakened by an even louder knocking. They open the door and are surprised by what they see: It’s the cow and the pig!

A wealthy labor economist had an urge to have grandchildren. He had two daughters and two sons and none of them had gratified his desire for a grandchild. At the annual family gathering on Thanksgiving Day, he chided them gently to bless his old age with their progeny. “But I haven’t given up hope,” he said, “Yesterday I went to the bank and set up a one hundred thousand dollar trust fund to be given to the first grandchild that I have. Now we will all bow our heads while I say a prayer of thanks.” When he looked up, he and his wife were the only ones at the table.

It’s not easy being an economist. How would you like to go through life pretending you knew what M1 was all about?

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Published on September 21, 2008 at 11:13 am  Comments (6)  

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  1. why dont poloiticians ever have answers? because americans have become accustomed to excuses. im sick of idiots that are oblivious to our country’s government. im also sick of politicians not answering hard questions, that are completely relevant. do we not pay them to make sure our country runs smooth? who do they think they are? we all know our country’s problems are complex, thats no excuse to raise gov’t spending in turn raising taxes hello we pay the gov’t to use our money apprpopriately. when i dont have money i cant tell the gov’t i want this or im gona try this to help my situation, so give me loot to spend aimlessly. besides people with money run this country. furthermore the comparison i’ve made to pres. obama is that he is the next hitler. he is attacking the rich, hitler attacked the rich hebrew community, he has the support of everyone poor,which is always the case when making a huge uprise in gov’t. his senate will always get their ways, and there will be no one to stop him. he was in the senate total for a little over a year before his candidacy was announced. how does that qualify him to be president? i spent 4 years in the marines and was never promoted to seargant major. his voting in the senate was just ridiculous, PRESENT!!! no vote he doesnt do anything his cabinet does and they are taking turns being bashed. from geithner, to clinton, to pelosi as of late. he just said that he found 2 trillion dollars that he can make in deficit reductions, i wish i could just up and find 2 trillion dollars to cut in their spending. ill bet id find more.democrats are making child like decisions,you dont act big and fast, without major considerations, however sitting back doing nothing is the worst possible scenario. he needs to repair not just quickly pass bills with huge spending. another hitler move is how he fired the president of gm. what is that? fascist? if you dont like it dont give them money. gm is a terrible outsourcing american people shredder. also i dont like the idea of paying gm employees pension plan through taxes, one day i will retire and hopefully it wont be on other people’s backs. that is my personal interest, people’s 401k’s are shot but they get to help pay other people’s retirement because of gov’t bailouts. im so sick of this and if things come down to a new revolution i will be taking up my arms.

  2. Just who, sir, are you calling an idiot? I can only assume that you are referring to me and that you think I am, “oblivious to our country’s government.” Hmmm…

    Rather than call you a name in response, I’ll just point out the obvious: your grammar, spelling and choice of words speaks volumes about your “informed” opinions.

    What qualifies Mr. Obama to be President, sir, is not that he has been a long-serving member of the U.S. Senate, which he has not, or even that he graduated at the top of his class from Harvard Law School and taught constitutional law at the University of Chicago, both of which he did. He is qualified to be President because he has the right ideas for the time combined with the gifts and graces to implement them. Don’t forget, sir, Lincoln had only been a one-term Congressman before he was elected President, having failed in four separate bids to get himself elected to the Senate.

    A large majority of prominent economists are saying that Mr. Obama’s plans to fix the economy, after eight years of deficit spending during an expansionary growth period when we should have been paying down the national debt and extensive deregulation of the financial sector by free-market conservatives and liberals alike, is either right-on target or modest in scope. So, why don’t you give the guy the benefit of doubt, and then judge him after he’s served his first term — not by the caliper of your own persuasions, but by his success or lack thereof?

  3. Back in 2008, GW Bush came out and said we needed to spend an additional 700 billion dollars or else. We authorized the 700 billion (about 5% of the outstanding money supply) and spent 350 billion almost immediately.
    Obama got elected on a promise of change… and we get more of the same. A “stimulus bill” which only spends 185 billion this year and 600 billion in the next two years is passed. Budgets are passed that overshadow any increase Reagan was guilty of.

    My fear is that we will seee a 10%+ iinflation rate this year. Colorado min wage is currently 7.28/hr and is set to increase on a June-June calculation of inflation made each September. If we get the 10% inflation I am fearful of, the min wage in Colorado will be 8.00+

    I also believe in the concept that maximum revenues are realized at a tax rate if around 23%. Therefor, tax rate increases are doomed to bring in less money… unless the tax rate increase is on the lowest tax brackets.

  4. All this spending has many concerned, myself included, Peter. But years of deregulation coupled with “deficit” spending when our economy was expanding has created the current situation — the worst recession since before the Second World War. Now more “targeted” spending with coordinated monetary policy on the part of the Fed is our only hope in the near term. But you’re right to fear inflation. That is always a concern. However, according to the AD/AS model, it is less of a concern while output lingers on the “horizontal” range of SRAS with high unemployment. Let’s just hope we don’t suffer an oil embargo a la the 1970s, which caused cost-push inflation in addition to the high unemployment rate (stagflation).

    It’s okay for us to talk about it, but best, I think, for us to let the experts fly our economic airplane.

    Yeh, proponents of flat and fair tax schemes all think the 23 percent rate is key to maximizing revenue. But history does not bear this out. The Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1993 created two additional top marginal tax brackets of 36 and 39.6 percent. As a result, plus the closing of several tax loop holes, caused revenues to increase greatly. We actually had a surplus for 3 or 4 years because Clinton held spending down during that recovery. No, the progressive income tax with the wealthy paying a higher percentage is an important built-in stabilizer for the economoy, as are the minimum wage and unemployment compensation. The conservatives like Ron Paul, John Linder and Mike Hukabee are wrong.

  5. So, why don’t you give the guy the benefit of doubt, and then judge him after he’s served his first term —

    It won’t be long before we can do that Opa . It won’t be long before we can give The Radical Marxist Commie his walking papers . If he gets 4 more years in office ,this nation will be down for the count . God please help us . God give us a new President ,,Amen .

  6. Observing from Canada (a couple of years after this post and discussion), I can’t make out how many Americans form their opinions about who should be elected.

    It seems that the “Christian” right is not in favour of social programs and health care funded by the tax base. As I see it, any Christian person should be in favour of caring for the poor and providing the kind of support that allows all people to thrive regardless of their backgrounds. Allowing people to do whatever they want with their private money is well and good but not to the extent that a country like the States can have so much domestic poverty and continue to choose to ignore it.

    Similarly, it is fairly clear that “trickle-down” systems don’t work. The idea that me being rich and twenty other people being poor will level itself out through regular economic transaction is a fallacy.

    With regard to Obama and this crippling debt, it is certainly a crisis situation. Does no one see how the continued deregulation and lack of oversight of the financial system was designed to benefit the wealthy? The financial meltdown was preventable and directly related to a ‘laissez-fair’ approach to financial regulation on the part of the government. Does no one remember who started this war in Afghanistan or the war in Iraq? So many billions being poured into that for so many years benefited no one at all other than the weapons engineers and manufacturers. Does no one remember that the original bailout was done by George W. Bush who was in office at the time alongside Obama?

    Something is seriously messed up down there and unfortunately it’s spreading.


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